The knowledge that by admitting to wrongdoing, we’ll be making an implicit promise to change, to improve, to work on ourselves.The concern that whatever we reveal can and will be used against us by our partner at the next available opportunity.A fear that if we admit to a mistake or fault in our relationship, we’ll be letting our partners off the hook for their mistakes and faults (which we’ve already decided are worse than ours).As much as the confession is to be admired, it’s doubtful that parental praise will follow the admission of guilt.Īs adults in intimate relationships other motivations for not taking responsibility creep in: I suppose this starts as a child, when mom yells “Who broke the lamp?!” and it’s easy to guess what will happen if we say, “I did it”. Including the pain-emotional or physical-that may come with admitting mistakes or faults.
One undeniable fact about human nature we are wired to avoid pain whenever possible.
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